As a parent, having a child that seems to be bucking the system, both at home and at school can be quite overwhelming.

We all understand that children will be children - they need to learn how to negotiate, navigate, play nicely, understanding consequences and indeed, discover strategies so they can develop a sense of emotional intelligence and resilience, in order to be the best version of themselves when they become adults.

It is a mine field - so many moving targets get in the way of a smooth sailing process of parenting although in reality, we as adults sometimes can make things more complicated than they should be.

Yes, there are some extreme conditions that can add fuel to the fire, such as ADHD - so what can you, as a parent do, to not only help you navigate the emotional ups and downs, but also 'see' your child in a light that is more than their potential diagnosis?

Sometimes it is the simplest and easiest strategies than can make that little bit of difference to everyone's life...we may not be able to 'fix' the situation (which frankly is a misnomer as 'fixing' isn't the solution, learning to manage your reaction and finding that sense of curiosity towards the other, is key to a path of less resistance) so be brave enough to consider, 'can I be better at being a parent?'

So, what are some of these simple, real-life strategies that can assist?

• change the way you communicate
  • rather than 'telling' your child what they have to do, 'ask' them what they need?
  • so often we fall into that routine of telling, which is a natural preset for parents, but have you thought about 'asking' your child what they are feeling, thinking...rather than 'telling' them what you think? You may find that a simple shift in approach can make your child realize, that you 'see' them and are listening and may stimulate an opportunity where they tell their side of the story
• stand back and take a pause
  • delay your response...so often we are listening with the intent to reply, perhaps take a few slow breaths when a conflict arises and listen with the intend to understand?
  • consider that the words may not be the actual issue for your child, it may be that the words or anger in those words are all about frustration...a young mind does not have the evolution of time and lived experiences to really know how to articulate what they feel and indeed, how to communicate this...rather than make an assumption, turn on your curious lens and then 'ask' what they mean. It could result in some interesting feedback

If we as adults can slow things down, stand back and give some space in-between words, we may find the answer.

In a world of face paced, technology driven stimuli, should we not look at slowing things down, reducing 'white noise' and getting back to basics?

Want a life less stressful? Are you looking for simple real-life strategies that can make a difference? Let's chat.