Every time an alienating parent tells a child how horrible the other parent is; that parent also tells the child that half of him/her is horrible

This is crucial to address  - the significant harm caused by parental alienation. Every time an alienating parent tells a child how horrible the other parent is, they are indeed communicating to the child that half of them is horrible.

This can have a devastating impact on the child's self-esteem, emotional well-being, and overall development.

Research has shown that parental alienation can lead to long-term psychological effects. For example, studies by Dr. Amy Baker and Dr. Richard Warshak have demonstrated that children who experience parental alienation often suffer from low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships later in life. The negative messages about the other parent become internalised, leading the child to believe they are inherently flawed or unworthy of love and respect.

Effective reunification therapy plays a critical role in addressing these issues. By working with both the child and the alienated parent, therapists can help rebuild trust and repair the damaged relationship.

This process involves making the alienating parent accountable for their actions and educating them about the harmful effects of their behaviour on the child's development. Dr. Richard Warshak's "Family Bridges" program is an example of an intervention designed to counteract the effects of parental alienation and restore healthy parent-child relationships.

Furthermore, the principles of Dr. Dan Siegel's work on attachment and interpersonal neurobiology emphasise the importance of secure relationships in a child's development.

Secure attachments are vital for a child's emotional and social development, forming the foundation for healthy relationships and overall well-being. Dr. Dan Siegel’s 4 S’s—Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure—provide a practical framework for fostering these attachments:

1. Safe: Ensure both physical and emotional safety, creating an environment where children feel protected and secure.
2. Seen: Acknowledge and validate a child's experiences, thoughts, and emotions, helping them feel valued and understood.
3. Soothed: Comfort and support children when they are distressed, teaching them to regulate their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
4. Secure: Provide consistent, reliable, and available caregiving, fostering trust and confidence in their relationships.

By implementing these principles, parents and caregivers can nurture secure attachments, significantly impacting a child's long-term emotional, social, and cognitive development.

Ensuring that children have healthy relationships with both parents, even after separation or divorce, is crucial for their emotional and psychological health. When adults are held accountable and guided towards healthier co-parenting practices, there is hope for mitigating the negative effects of separation and divorce on children.

As a Counsellor and Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner, my approach involves providing psychoeducation to parents about the importance of maintaining positive relationships with their children and co-parents. By fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding, we can help prevent the cycle of alienation and ensure that children grow up feeling loved, valued, and secure in their relationships.

Too often, separated parents are focused on the hurt and blame on the other and they neglect and overlook how this impacts their children.