This is such a controversial space to not only be in personally, but also to discuss out loud.
We are conditioned to accept our family, siblings, parents, cousins etc; unconditionally and believe that they are the safest and most trustworthy source of support and love we will ever experience.
Friends - well, they come and go, but family, are always there and will always support your best interests.
Or do they?
I had coffee with an amazing friend this morning, who has recently celebrated her 20th anniversary of her 40th birthday (we ladies need to always be coy about our ages!).
She has had an incredible life of lived experiences and would be considered, an expert on family matters as it were.
This morning, she shared that she has finally realized, (with much soul searching), that her two sister's have never participated in the same value proposition that she has, which is; to be kind, supportive, love unconditionally and build one another up, not cut one another down.
It is interesting to note that my girlfriend is a healthy person - balancing good food and the occasional beverage with a positive outlook on life and being gracious and grateful for all that she has. Her sister's, (in stark contrast) have abused food and alcohol, combined with bitter views of people and life along with conducting themselves in the most hateful manner towards their loving sibling for decades, now are experiencing poor health (especially for one) whose life is heavily compromised because of all of her choices she has made along the way.
So at what stage do you make excuses and say to yourself 'I can help, I will make things better' to a toxic relationship, with the knowledge that no matter what you do or say, these unhappy souls will never find that pathway that allows them enlightenment and contentment.
- In reality, they will never be happy with themselves -
Does any of the above resonate with you?
The affairs of the heart with family are sometimes the most challenging and difficult to navigate. There are some simple strategies and ways to alleviate not only your pain, but find some reconciliation in your own mind, that their happiness does not fall on your shoulders.
