In my practice over the past six months, I've witnessed a troubling pattern: children compelled to spend time with a parent against their expressed wishes often experience significant emotional distress. This forced interaction can lead to:

• Increased resentment towards the parent enforcing contact.

• Emotional turmoil, including anxiety and frustration.

• Behavioural issues, such as withdrawal or acting out.

These reactions are not merely anecdotal. Research indicates that high levels of parental conflict and coercion can negatively impact a child's emotional and behavioural development. For instance, studies have shown that children exposed to intense inter parental conflict are at greater risk for developing emotional, social, and behavioural problems .

It's crucial to understand that a child's reluctance to engage with a parent isn't always a result of parental alienation. Often, it's a response to the ongoing conflict between parents, where the child feels caught in a tug-of-war, used as a means to exert pressure or inflict pain on the other parent. This dynamic can lead children to feel like possessions rather than individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.

By incorporating the child's voice through Child-Inclusive Mediation, we aim to:

• Acknowledge and validate the child's experiences and feelings.

• Provide parents with insights into their child's perspective, fostering empathy and understanding.

• Develop parenting agreements that prioritise the child's emotional well-being and autonomy.

Our goal is to shift the focus from parental disputes to the child's needs, ensuring that their voice is not only heard but also central to the decision-making process.

A breakdown and understanding of the process:

Child Inclusive Mediation

Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) and associated guidelines from the Attorney-General’s Department and the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA), an FDR Practitioner (FDRP) who has completed additional training in child-inclusive practice can conduct Child-Inclusive Mediation (CIM), provided certain criteria are met.

✅ Accreditation Requirements

To conduct Child-Inclusive Mediation, an FDR Practitioner must:

1. Be a registered FDRP with the Attorney-General’s Department.
2. Have completed specialist training in child-inclusive practice. This usually includes:
   • Training in developmental psychology, attachment theory, and child interviewing techniques.
   • Supervised practice in child consultation and reporting.
3. Work with, or be, a qualified child consultant (typically a psychologist, social worker, or counsellor with specific training in child-inclusive methods).

🧩 What is Child-Inclusive Mediation (CIM)?

Child-Inclusive Mediation is a form of Family Dispute Resolution that brings the voice of the child into the mediation process — not to place pressure on the child to make decisions, but to ensure their experiences, needs, and perspectives are heard and considered.

🛠️ How Is CIM Done?

Here’s a general structure of how Child-Inclusive Mediation is facilitated:

1. Initial Assessment

• Both parents attend individual intake sessions to assess:
  • Suitability for mediation
  • Risk factors (e.g. family violence, coercion, or power imbalances)
  • Whether CIM is appropriate and in the best interests of the child

2. Child Consultation

• A separate session with the child is conducted by the child consultant such as an FDRP with dual-trained qualifications.
• The child is given a safe and supportive space to express:
  • How they experience the current arrangements
  • Their feelings and concerns about the separation and family dynamics
• Children are never asked to make choices or decisions — the aim is to understand their developmental needs and emotional world.

3. Feedback Session

• The child consultant provides non-evaluative feedback to the parents through the FDR process.
• This feedback is not verbatim, but a therapeutically informed summary of the child’s experience, including:
  • Key emotional themes
  • Relationship dynamics
  • Protective needs

4. Mediation Session

• The FDRP facilitates mediation with the parents, incorporating the child’s feedback.
• The focus remains on the child’s best interests, helping parents reflect on how to restructure their parenting in ways that support the child emotionally and developmentally.

📜 Legislative and Policy Support

• CIM aligns with the Family Law Act’s focus on the best interests of the child (Section 60CC).
• It is supported but not mandated by the FCFCOA, especially in parenting matters where understanding the child’s voice can reduce conflict.
• CIM does not replace the need for court-appointed Independent Children’s Lawyers (ICLs) or expert family reports, but can complement or reduce the need for more adversarial court processes.

🧭 Important Considerations

• Voluntary process: Parents must both consent to the child participating.
• Confidentiality: The child’s words are shared sensitively and therapeutically — not as evidence.
• Safety: CIM is not suitable where there are current safety concerns, unmanaged risk, or where children may feel coerced.

Are you ready to listen to your child's voice?

Let's start here.